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What are some funny and smart quotes?

14.06.2025 09:35

What are some funny and smart quotes?

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

What was the worst spanking you got growing up?

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

Atheists claim that Earth is 10 billion years old, yet there are no fossils that old. What do you have to say for yourselves for lying?

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

Why does Christianity push reconciliation after a partner cheats? Mine had a 7-year affair with someone half my age. He cheated and lied. He is not the same to me.

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.